If you want a chance with Ms. Right, then there are 3 things you should avoid. It’s really easy to do what I’m about to lay out below because common sense has gone out the window as more and more guys are taking their advice from female-oriented love doctors, major media, movies and more sources that have no idea what to tell a real man that’s looking for a good woman in his life. It’s amazing to me that not more folks come at this from the male point of view but it’s almost as if guys have become an afterthought when some of these “dating gurus” start spouting their brainwashing and nonsense.
If you want real talk for real guys then keep on reading – because you have to avoid the 3 C’s early on to have a shot with her – “compliments, candy and communication.”
#1: Avoid Compliments If she’s attractive, and of course she is since you’re pursuing her, then she’s been told how beautiful she is from an early age – and she’s either tired of it or it’s not going to have any impact on her if you’re the one saying it for the 56,789th time in her life. Even worse than that? Telling her how kind, nice, intelligent, wonderful, etc., she is on date 1 – because she’s a stranger to you and her BS meter will be firing when you’re gushing over her brains before the dessert arrives. She’ll smile, laugh and thank you on the outside while on the inside think you’re a huge phony because you don’t know her at all.
If compliments really worked then shouldn’t you just wander up to women on the street and compliment them say 100x until they marry you? Wait, maybe it’s 150? 200? I forget what the magic number of laying it on thick is – the compliment to relationship ratio if you will.
There is no ratio simply because compliments don’t work – it’s the base level of what every guy tries to do but I’m here to tell you that you’re not on a game show entitled “Kissing Up To Get The Girl” so just tell her she looks nice when you pick her up and that you had a fun time when dropping her off . You’ll stand out from 90% of the guys she’s dated (and gotten rid of by the way!)
#2: Avoid Candy Just like compliments, gifts don’t work either (unless she’s a mercenary and then you can max out your Visa until she finds someone with more money and stupidity). Gifts can be candy, flowers, jewelry, or whatever else you have to pull $ out of your wallet for to give her JUST BECAUSE SHE GAVE YOU HER # OR WENT OUT WITH YOU. Ugh – isn’t it enough that you had the courage to walk over to her, talk, get the #, arrange the date, pick her up AND pay? Now you have to show up with candy and flowers too? At least some guys think you do.
If candy and other gifts really worked then guys of less economic means would always lose out to guys with more – there would be no way to hook up unless you made six figures or more – only those guys that can FTD every other day have a chance of winning the heart of Ms. Right!
Of course, that’s ridiculous – there are good women out there that get into relationships with men because – and I know this is shocking – but because they actually like the dude and he makes them happy. Yes, yes, yes, there are those out there – the mercenaries – that are for sale to the highest bidder – but we’re avoiding those types anyway.
You cannot buy your way into the heart of a good girl – and in fact you’ll turn her off if you treat her in such a superficial way.
I’m all about giving her gifts and spoiling her – once she’s EARNED IT – so no candy or other trinkets of affection until she’s your girlfriend!
#3: Avoid Communication Think of yourself on a date where you say this sentence to her over and over again: “I like you, do you like me? I hope you like me because I really like you. Do you think you’ll keep liking me? ” I know that sounds absolutely absurd and ridiculous but when you communicate with her between dates – whether it’s texting, Facebook, the phone, Twitter, Snapchat, smoke signals or whatever then that’s exactly the message you’re getting across to Ms. Right.
Guys think they have to sell, sell, sell, and sell some more to knock the other guys out of the box that are pursuing her. So, after that great date you want to make sure she remembers you. You’ve heard that women like attention so it’s attention you’ll give! She can’t forget you and refuse to go out with you for the next date because you’ve made sure to hit her up multiple times since the last date.
You are selling her – on the idea of not going out with you again! Women want MYSTERY and a CHALLENGE. She had a fun time with you and now you’ve disappeared – she’s wondering if she’ll see you again and you’re not in her face so her feelings will grow for you. I know it sounds counter-intuitive but the ladies get more into a guy they’re not sure of and is not making it obvious they want to be her boyfriend.
I know from all the brainwashing you’ve gotten that you are probably saying “Doc, she’ll forget about me” or “I have to prove to her I like her more than the next guy that’s after her.” I understand where you’re coming from if you feel that way but you’re wrong – because you’ve done enough!
Remember YOU had to walk over to her and meet her, YOU had to ask for her #, YOU had to call her and ask for a date, YOU had to figure out where to go and pick her up and YOU had to pay – and now YOU have to repeat the process over and over again for the next few months until she MIGHT be your girlfriend (everything but the walk over and get the # part).
Isn’t it enough that you have to do all this work to show her a good time? Isn’t it enough that she can REJECT you at any time at any point? All the power lies with her and she knows it. You begin to even the balance of power by making sure she has fun and having her anticipate the next date, hoping it will happen because you’re not in her face making it obvious that it will.
Guys that lay back and let the woman come to them are much better off – because a good girl at some point will naturally want to see you more and start to chase you – and if she’s chasing you then she can’t be rejecting you!
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