Online Dating Tips For Men: Avoiding Time Wasters

Be Careful - These Women Will Give You Carpal Tunnel!

Pointing your browser (or Smartphone app) at the profiles of the ladies you're into is an awesome way to get to know someone in the 21st century and you can get more online dating tips for men in my article here but I want to go over some time wasting women you'll encounter on the world wide web because they're out there ready to give you carpal tunnel and false hope!

online dating tips for men

Time Waster #1: I Don't Know You Very Well

This is the most insidious and creepy one that women can pull online in my opinion. She responds to your message right away and you have great conversations back and forth where you think that meeting her out is imminent until she puts the brakes on with one of the following statements in response to your request to meet her for coffee or a drink:

"Can we speak on the phone first?"

"I need to talk to you more online before I'm comfortable."

"It's too soon."


I'm assuming you didn't come off creepy yourself by saying something sexual or suggesting an out of the way bar and had about 3-4 normal messages back and forth with her. This type of lady is seeking nothing but attention and has no intent of actually meeting you - she just loves her virtual pen pal! Normal women with normal interest level in getting to know you will meet you in a nice, casual, public place after 3-4 good emails back and forth. If she pulls a variation of any of those statements above and you've done everything right then just say NEXT

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online dating tips for men

Time Waster #2: Separated

I can't believe guys get sucked into this one! I teach in my dating relationship education course named THE SYSTEM that you should have NO exes floating around in the background and if she's separated then don't go there - and I don't care how "over" she says it is (because, gosh, you can trust what an online stranger says to you, right? Errr....).

If she's separated then she's still LEGALLY MARRIED so I would say that qualifies as more than an ex floating around in the background - SHE'S GOT A HUSBAND FLOATING AROUND IN THE BACKGROUND.

Listen - it *might* really be over and he *might* live 10 states away with his new girlfriend but then again it's more likely that there is still at the very least drama going on.

Why in the world would you want to deal with that? Just because she's hot? Yeah, physical attraction can blind guys but don't let it happen. If you're looking to start something then start with a clean deal - make sure she's either single or divorced because "separated" means there's still another guy in the picture - not worth it to get 7 dates in and find out they decided to reconcile!

online dating tips for men

Time Waster #3:  Random Responses

You email her and bam she emails you back right away. You think you have a "live one" and then you respond and then................nothing.

She is online nearly every day but no response to your response. Then a week later you get a "sorry - been busy blah blah blah" and then you respond - and then.................nothing.

The communication between the U.S. and Russia in 1955 was way less strained than this hot mess you're into. You know why you're getting random response? Because she's either not interested or a head case - either way - forget her! A normal flow is to have 3-4 emails go back and forth over the course of 7-10 days and then have a coffee date or drink somewhere to see if you have real life chemistry. The random response woman represents frustration and wasted time!

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Dating Women Advice: Do Babes Ever Rebuff Lenny Kravitz?

WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?

"Friends with benefits" does NOT mean you can get a relationship!  Read on...

Don't forget about listening live to my Dating Women Radio Show WEDNESDAY, 7/8/15 & call in on the #'s below at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET

855-345-7465 US Toll FREE
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READER'S QUESTION

Hey Doc,

I skimmed over your book and it led me to the point where I am now e-mailing you.

For the past three years I have been in the dreaded “friend zone” with Violet. I did just about everything right when I met her. Got all the way to the point of falling asleep with her on the couch at sunrise and moving in for a kiss only to have her say she wanted to wait and not rush into it. It then stagnated for a year before we became friends with benefits for a few months. I then pushed for making Violet my girlfriend and BAM -- back in the friend zone.

Violet is now with me every weekend. She stays over and sleeps in the same bed as me. We cuddle in bed and whenever I attempt a more romantic gesture, she rebuffs me in a firm but friendly way. It just doesn't make sense. She even admits that she wishes she was more logical, and while intoxicated she has cried to me that she wishes she “wasn’t so stupid by going for idiot guys” or that perhaps if I would put up more of a Challenge she would be attracted to me romantically again.

I have tried hitting the reset button by ceasing to be friends with Violet for a few months at a time with no contact. But over the past month I began talking to her again about our relationship, making my intentions obvious. Her response now is that the two of us should get married at 40 if we are both still single (I’m 28 and she’s 25). This is beyond infuriating, and 95% of the other women I’ve been with I would’ve stopped caring about ages ago.

Other than not talking to Violet, do you have any coaching for me?

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DOC'S ANSWER

Hi Corkie,

Using the word SKIM when it comes to “The System” is probably the biggest mistake of your life. My material must be MEMORIZED. You have to be able to get up in front of Toastmasters and talk about any part of my book for eight minutes. When you are able to do that, you’ll know you have my techniques down. And having them DOWN COLD is the only way you will become a success with women. Look at it this way: you can’t skim calculus. You can’t skim plastic surgery. It just won’t work. The same applies to “The System.”

So, you’ve been in the dreaded friend zone with Violet for three whole years. Why would any guy spend three entire years chasing a girl whose Interest Level is below 50%? This is what you get from just skimming a few pages of my book, Corkie! It’s all about the woman’s Interest Level, and Violet does not have interest above 50% in you! That’s your problem. And it’s that simple! And you leeched around this babe for three years? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “What about all the women you missed out on in those three years?”

Now let me get this straight. You’ve spent three years with a woman, you go in for a kiss, and you’re rushing? Doesn’t this tell you something about Violet’s Interest Level? Or does it tell you that she should see a shrink?

When you and Violet became friends with benefits, you might have gotten her body, but you didn’t get her mind and heart, which is what you’ve wanted all along. What this means is that this woman DOESN’T DIG YOU. When you pushed to make Violet your girl, you didn’t get knocked back into the friend zone, you never LEFT the friend zone!

Now whenever you make a romantic gesture when you’re in bed together, Violet rebuffs you. In other words, you’re like her little brother. Or like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You’re a stuffed teddy bear that she likes to hug at night.”

This whole thing does make sense, Corkie. Because this chick doesn’t like you. And you’re just projecting your Interest Level onto her. She’s not really attracted to idiot guys -- what she really means is that she’s more interested in guys who are a Challenge and have an edge to them. You’re not a Challenge and you don’t have an edge. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You’re nothing but an open book to this woman.” When she said that if you were more of a Challenge she might be attracted to you, she was telling you the truth right there. But you don’t know what Challenge really is because you just skimmed my book.

Then you tell me that you’ve tried not having contact with Violet for months at a time. Dude, I’m shocked at the amount of time you’ve spent on a woman who has ZERO Interest Level in you! Even in just skimming my book you should have caught onto this! Are you sure you know how to read?

And now you’re making your intentions to Violet obvious all over again. In other words, you have high Interest Level and she has NO Interest Level! Then she suggested waiting another 20 years to get married if neither of you have found someone else. So in addition to having low Interest Level in you, Violet is a cuckoo!

Of course you would have stopped caring about any other woman if she’d done the same thing to you. But your Interest Level is somewhere between 90% and 100%. IT’S WAY TOO HIGH, pal. To you Psych majors, your Interest Level should never get up that high. It shouldn’t get higher than 80% to 89%, and the woman’s should be up at 90% to 100%. But Violet’s interest is below 50%, which means it can never go up. My friend, you have to get your Interest Level in Violet down by walking away and finding a replacement.

Remember, guys: never try to keep someone who doesn’t want to keep you.

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Don't forget about listening live to my Dating Women Radio Show WEDNESDAY, 7/8/15 & call in on the #'s below at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET

855-345-7465 US Toll FREE
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Plenty of Fish Free Online Dating Review

Plenty of Fish Free Online Dating Review

The 411 On Plenty Of Fish Or POF For Short

It's a free dating website - sort of - because if you want some upgraded features then you're going to have to pay and even if you don't pay, expect every other dating website to be in your face because Plenty of Fish is not shy about using your information to target you while you're there

POF Dating Site - What You Need To Know

Point your browser at POF.com (that's the easiest way to remember it) and then sign up for a free account - it's pretty self-explanatory as to what you have to do but there is one confusing part. They ask you towards the back end of the sign up process to answer a series of questions so you match with potential dates better but you can easily skip that part. I don't really see a benefit to doing it because these online relationship predictor tests can be pretty goofy. Who cares if I'm "more likely" to read a book instead of party? Does that mean that I should skip all the girls that like to go out on the weekends?

As I teach in my dating relationship education course named THE SYSTEM, I don't want you to waste a ton of time online - your only object is to get her out for a coffee date so you can see how you mix in the real world! By the way, if you want some strategies for getting better with PlentyOfFish.com or any other online dating site for singles then read my article here.

What's Great About POF Online Dating

Okay, free is good - that's a good start. Also, there are a TON of women on there - because, it's, well, free. They also don't put you through a big song and dance to get your photos or profile approved - it's pretty instantaneous - which is great when you're just dying to send that pretty redhead a message. Also, they're pretty careful to limit guys to contacting women that are no younger than 14 years their junior - which I tell you guys all the time that you shouldn't be trying to go for women with too big of an age gap anyway - because there is such a difference in life experience and where you're headed - it's nearly impossible to build a long-term romance in May-December fashion.

I like what the founder of POF says in talking about this subject related to his dating website: "There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact 18-year-old women. The majority of messages sent outside those age ranges are all about hook-ups." I agree totally with that - and THE SYSTEM is all about long-term relationships that can go the distance - so if you're 50, for example, stay in your "pond" and go for late 30's to your age range (okay - sorry about the bad pun!) If you want more of my thoughts on this check out my post on older men dating younger women here .

Another good thing is their POF Forums are pretty active - now I don't recommend you follow the advice a lot of those folks give because many are CLUELESS but you can pick up nuggets from time to time and it's especially good to see what the women are saying because as you know on my dating women radio show I often talk about things from Glamour, Cosmopolitan, etc., because the more you can get into the mindset of where the ladies are at, the better (however, don't take everything they say as 100% truth - for example - they may say they want a nice guy but they go for the bad boy - my course can help you decipher their "Womanese.")

WHY DOES A WOMAN CHOOSE TO STAY WITH ONE MAN VERSUS ANOTHER?

Only THE SYSTEM knows - and it's changed the lives of THOUSANDS of men around the world!

What's Not So Great About POF Online Dating

In no particular order...

  • You cannot eliminate the ads in the free version (see the section on "upgrading" below for more on this - you can eliminate these). These ads are ANNOYING because they're so specific to you - you'll see ads based on your profile and it's relatively creepy. Say, you're a blonde guy that's 35 - you'll see ads for other dating websites that say "our ladies love 35-year old blonde guys." It's smart on the part of PlentyOfFish.com but it does get a little intrusive.
  • Women get a TON of messages because any yahoo with an internet connection can sign up free and start sending emails. It's tough for you to get through the mess and also the ladies there are a little more worn out by the time you get to them because even though POF's founder doesn't want this to be a hook up site, some guys try to use it that way. Their user agreement states that you could get banned for this behavior but do you think they have time to watch every single message from all the accounts they have?
  • Their "meet me" feature is goofy. You can click "yes" to meeting a woman and she can do the same - it's kind of like POF's version of the Match.com "wink" but I personally don't think it works very well - some of my students have told me that they've sent emails to women that clicked "yes" to them and gotten no response - now how is that possible (by the way, you have to be an upgraded member to see the women interested in you).

Plenty of Fish Free Online Dating Review

Do You Upgrade In POF.com?

Here's what they claim happens to upgraded members - and only you can make the choice if you want to do this or not - but by every claim I'll tell you my opinion (curiously they don't list seeing women that want to meet you in their "pitch" - they only talk about you showing up first - however, in the meet me section, they bait you to upgrade by telling you that women want to "meet you" and when you try to find out who, it's time to whip out your credit card - and you know my thoughts on that feature!)

  • Show up first on Meet Me! (I don't think this works very well - not a benefit).
  • Unlock every user's Extended Profile (not a benefit - a lot of people don't bother filling this out).
  • See if your emails were read or deleted (not a benefit - who cares if they read them or not - you only care about responses).
  • Experience POF ad-free (I like this - definitely a good thing).
  • Find out the date and time someone viewed your profile (again, not a benefit - we only care about responses).
  • Massive increase in emails (students that have tried this say this isn't necessarily true).
  • Number of people viewing your profile triples (students that have tried this say this isn't necessarily true).
  • Stand out in all searches (I will say they do highlight members so this is a benefit).
  • Send three gifts per day (I advise guys to give no gifts of any kind until she's your girlfriend - so this isn't a benefit).
  • This upgrade more than doubles your chances of meeting someone (I'd like to see some statistics on this - can they say this for 100% of the guys?)
  • Upload 16 images (I suggest 2 photos - one casual - one professional - done by a working photographer - so you don't need all this).
So, most of the "benefits" aren't benefits in my mind - but you can make your own decision on that - the cheapest price you can get as of the writing of this article is $10.18 per month - but you have to commit for 8 months to get this price - $81.40 out of your pocket right away. You can go with a 2-month plan and that will be $19.35 a month - or $38.70 out the door once you click "Upgrade."

Plenty of Fish Free Online Dating Review

Plenty Of Fish Complaints

Again, in no particular order...

  • Customer service is non-existent - if you send an email to them, forget it - it's not getting answered - one of my students tried 5x to no avail.
  • They have randomly deleted accounts for no reason - and why is that? Well, the people complaining can't find out since they don't answer emails!
  • There is no way to hide your views of women - so if you keep going back to her profile you'll show up as a view - which can be a bit creepy from her perspective
  • Like with any dating website, there are scammers running around - if she seems to good to be true, she probably is!

Doc's Final Word Is Plenty Of Fish A Scam?

No, it's actually a very good site with actual ladies you can meet (some that want to meet you too). Like everything it has pitfalls and things to irritate you but I wouldn't hold back in joining - you might meet Ms. Right from that site!

More success with POF

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Dating Russian Women: 3 Things To Know

Dating Russian Women

Do You Go Overseas For The Lady Of Your Dreams?

Why Russian Women? Why not Japanese Women? Why not South American Women? Well, Doc Love is into the internet and knows what Google cares about and lots of guys are searching for "Dating Russian Women" so I thought I'd weigh in.

This advice will work for dating any woman from a foreign country - I think the whole "Russian Bride" phenomenon is why guys think of "Russian Women" first in a search but this can really apply to any woman you meet on one of those international matchmaker sites that you're trying to bring over to the U.S. (after going over to meet her for a period of time - usually 4-6 weeks).

Never let it be said that I'm not into true love but my love of love cannot overcome my common sense based reality teachings - so as you can imagine I think it's all a bad idea - here are 3 reasons why.

By the way, let me be clear that I don't think foreign women are bad per se - there are GREAT women all over the world - my problem isn't the women but where they're located in relation to you - read on.

Dating Russian Women

How Can You Really Know Her?

You go to a site, a matchmaker let's you thumb through profiles and you correspond with the women that trip your trigger - but how can you really know what she's about? I can be a CEO earning $50,000,000 with my own yacht as far as anyone could know if I write things correctly online - it's so easy to lie - or should I say "exaggerate," especially when you're 5,000 miles away.

Yes, yes, yes, I know that these "services" claim to vet the women and that you should trust them and their track record but really, can you be sure? Even if the service is on the up and up how do you know the woman is on the up and up? Remember, con artists exist all over the world and that old maxim of there's a sucker born every minute with two to take him rings true.

I don't care how "careful" you or the service are - you cannot know a stranger that's thousands of miles away no matter how careful you think you or they are.

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Commit This Soon?

You talk over the months or Skype or call or whatever and then it's time to go meet - the process takes what? 3 months? 6 months? Whatever - it's not enough. I advise guys in my dating relationship education course called THE SYSTEM that you need to have 2-3 months of solid dating (where you see her once per week to get up to 10-12 dates) and then make her your girlfriend for 2 years where you'll see her another 2 to 3 (usually 2) times a week BEFORE ENTERTAINING THE THOUGHT OF MARRIAGE.

However, when you're pursuing a foreign bride, they're ready to jump now - you will correspond, visit and then bring them back to meet dear old mom and dad - TOO SOON GUY. I've had guys tell me that their girlfriends pulled nonsense on them after a year of solid dating and they dropped them but it's not as easy to extract yourself when you've dragged her 5,000 miles across the world only to find out that the sweet, caring, sensitive, giving girl from the Ukraine has turned into a clone of the Real Housewives of (insert city here - doesn't matter - they're all bad!).

Remember guy, you're getting a STRANGER - and if you don't spend time with her then you'll never know what she's all about - it's IMPOSSIBLE to get to know her on your trip when she's on the best behavior.

Dating Russian Women

If It Sounds Too Good To Be True...

The girl you're corresponding with is just like the 20-something secretary that dates nothing but successful band guys - but your girl is not only a spitting image but she's super sweet and into you - in spite of your 17 year age difference!

Happy days are here again!

Listen, if she wouldn't be interested in you in the U.S. then she's not going to be interested in you just because she lives in a foreign country. I know, I know, I know - they're "different" - they're religious or there's not enough men or the men in their country are all negative alcoholics, blah, blah, blah. It's great marketing playing on lonely guys, I'll give them that - but it DOES NOT MEET REALITY.

If you don't believe me and you want to assume that hot 20-something women that don't like you in the U.S. will like you just because they're 4,333 miles away, then run this test to REALLY test her motivation. Go over there and tell her how much you love her, want to marry her and make her happy but suggest that instead of her coming to the U.S. to live with you, you'll stay there and move in with her and her 9 relatives. I think you'll see her INTEREST LEVEL take an immediate nosedive.

Overcoming Jealousy In A Relationship

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Match.com Review

match.com

The 411 On Match.com

You've seen the TV commercials (unless your address is carved into the stone of your cave) and it's literally one of the biggest and most well-known dating sites in the world. I frequently talk about them on my dating women radio show but like anything in life nothing is perfect - so let's dig in and see what the 411 on this site is.

A Relatively Expensive Dating Site

Match.com is not the most expensive out there but it will definitely make you think twice about your monthly budget - in fact you might be weighing how many of your favorite craft beers you have to give up to afford Match.com's services.

The nice thing about Match is that you can go month by month - but that's clearly the most expensive option as they will hit you for the highest monthly fee if you show them you're only going to date them for the short-term (hey, they don't want to feel used!) - the basic package will cost you over $40/month for the option I just spoke of but if you commit to a longer-term relationship with them (12 months) that price can drop to sub-$25 per month (so you can put a few IPA brews back into your budget).

Match.com Profiles & Extras

Match.com likes to ding you for some extras - and it's REALLY SMART business on their part to reel you in with them - because once you've made that new, shiny profile you want it to be seen and have the lovely ladies of the world contact you - so they give you several options that you can buy as one-offs as much as you'd like and all are in the sub-$5 range:

  • Did she read your email? $4.99 a month - a waste of money - who cares if she read it - you only want her to either respond or not respond
  • Highlighted profiles to make you stand out from the competition. $4.99 a month.
  • MatchPhone virtual phone number for calls and texts. $3.99 per month.
  • Rank your profile up top of searches for $3 and change and you'll appear there for a half hour - which some guys say increases women contacting them.
  • You can also go "undercover" (about $2 for 24 hours) like a secret agent so that you don't get busted for looking at that hot blonde's profile again and again and again and again.
  • Buying the extras can easily make your month by month fee go north of $50 or $60, especially if you go undercover daily (which I don't recommend - just look at her profile once, email her and then be done with it - she'll either get back to you or she won't).

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What's Great About Match.com

  • Nice look to the site.
  • Lot of advertising and notoriety so that when you subscribe you won't feel like you rolled into the nightclub that never advertises and see no women there - you should find a # of ladies that interest you.
  • The user interface allows you to easily see all your matches in one place.
  • The site prods you to see women even if you're not searching via their "daily matches" and "who do you like" that has you check out 10 pairs of women . These features make it a no-brainer to find women - and that's good because my SYSTEM teaches guys that dating is like sales and the more leads you have, the better.
  • You can see women to chat with immediately. I don't recommend you do this I teach guys that texting, instant communication, etc. can become a trap and a time-waster. Your whole object is to get her in the real world and having a real time conversation with her online might disqualify you.
  • The ability to temporarily hide your profile if you want to drop off for a bit without deleting everything.
  • You can also choose, for a price, to make it private so you control who sees you (IE, contact the women you're interested in and stay away from the women you're not).

Match.com Complaints

  • Ugh, they have to approve EVERYTHING - so it can get frustrating if you're making minor text changes or uploading one photo - and they'll temporarily take your profile offline which can can really slow you down. They're usually pretty fast but if you're like the guys I know when they want to surf and look for women - they want to do it NOW when they have time.
  • Their cancellation policy is very confusing and very smart at the same time (smart for them anyway). They make you step through multiple screens and if you're not careful you stay for another round of billing. It is NOT a fast process by internet standards and definitely not a "1 click and you're out." Make sure you get a cancellation email to verify and once you do, you're set - but look for that confirmation otherwise your credit card is getting hit again!
  • Also, there's a bunch of chatter online about how their customer service is hard to get a hold of with long wait times and automated messages. I suppose that's the way for a lot of big sites these days but it doesn't make it any less frustrating - especially when you could be paying over $500 annually depending on what services you choose.

Doc's Final Word Is Match.com A Scam?

The answer to this is no - Match.com is a very good site and one of the places I recommend frequently on my dating women radio show - it could be your ticket to meeting Ms. Right. However, Match.com can only do so much - they're not going to get her interested for you nor go on the date for you so if you want to maximize your opportunity with women you encounter there then take the free 7-day trial to my hyper-popular Doc Love Club.

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Dating Single Women – 3 Things Hurting Your Chances With Women

You know what – none of these things have anything to do with dating per se – in fact they’re unrelated at face value but if you don’t pay attention to what I’m about to write then you are limiting your chances to meet and keep Ms. Right because these are things she looks for and you may not realize it!

Some of what I’m about to write might seem “shallow” and you could easily dismiss them thinking “well, if she’s going to judge me on THAT I don’t want her anyway” and guess what, you’d be WRONG because the ladies are no different than us – they have their moments where the butterflies are floating around and the attraction is heavy and “yuck” moments – so minimize your chances of “yuck” floating through her gray matter.

Dating Single Women#1: Teeth Not Up To Par

Teeth are expensive so if you find that you need to pay for dental work then – DO IT. Teeth are important to how attractive you are to her and also for your overall health (I’m not a dentist but my dentist has shared all sorts of information with me about the value of a healthy mouth).

If you have bad teeth then your chances are bad – it’s just that simple. You want to be proud when you smile and while you don’t have to have perfect movie star teeth they should be even, clean and bright. Do not leave this to chance, get to the dentist ASAP and get them fixed – even if you have to get a loan or work an extra job – it’s that important.

Dating Single Women#2: Bad Listening Skills

This is the #1 complaint I hear from women – “he doesn’t listen to me.” Some guys just like to talk, talk and talk! I know some of it is nerves early on, some of it is the fact you think you need to impress her and then sometimes it’s a personality flaw (that you should correct).

Whatever the reason you need to slow down and let her talk and then when she does make sure you understand what she’s saying and then offer follow-up questions. It’s interesting to get to know someone (especially someone you may spend years with) and also aren’t you a little bored with yourself anyway? I know that I live with me 24/7 with full access to my own thoughts so I know all about me – when I ask questions of others it allows me to know things I wouldn’t otherwise learn.

Beyond all that it’s something that will set you apart from other guys that either chatterbox on without taking a breath or brag about their toys /accomplishments (boring!) – it’s very uninteresting to her if you talk the entire time and don’t listen to her – so open the 2 ears while keeping the mouth shut!

Dating Single Women#3: No Color Matching Skills

I’m not saying you have to host your own style show but some guys I see wandering around look like they dressed in the dark! Please have a sense of style about you by checking out some men’s magazines for the latest styles and make sure when you go to buy clothes you don’t go on the cheap. I understand not everyone has a million dollars but believe me when I tell you that you’re better off with less more expensive clothes than you are with many inexpensive ones.

I would go to a good clothing store and find a very experienced and trustworthy salesperson to help you put outfits together with quality clothing – and they don’t have to break your budget either – places like Kohl’s, JC Penney, Joesph A. Bank, Men’s Wearhouse and many others are forever offering deals on good stuff – so take advantage of those deals and advice in store (although you won’t get advice from folks at Kohl’s but that’s a good place to pick up casual clothing).

The bottom line is that she’s going to notice your appearance and that means good teeth, fit body (the more fit you are the more chances you have to attract more women), and how well you dress. Hey, you like what you like when you see a lady and they’re no different so make sure you put the best foot forward you can when out there because you never know when she’s going to turn the corner and be there!

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Dating Single Women – 3 Ways Women Help You When They Like You

I have a saying I’ve been using for years and if you’re on the scene dating women then you must keep this in mind – women help you when they like you. However, what exactly does that mean? How do they help you? What should you look for? Don’t fall prey to your own ego that will fool you into thinking that you just have to ask her out more if she turns you down.

I know you’ve heard of guys staying persistent until she actually went out with them – you might have even heard of marriages resulting from this but keep this in mind – HE WASN’T HER FIRST CHOICE – and to me, if I can’t be #1 in a woman’s mind then I’m in last place and there is no way I’m staying with a woman for 40 years when I lost out to other guys – but I happened to be the last one standing – NO THANK YOU!

Let’s talk about 3 things you should look for so you know that you’re in the pole position for her heart.

Dating Single Women#1: Immediate Digits

You ask for her phone number and BAM you get it – and yes the “BAM” was for effect to indicate that even you should be surprised as to how fast the # got punched into your Galaxy 6. You weren’t exactly sure she liked you but she dispelled that notion by not only giving you the # right away but then encouraging you to call. You should be walking away from her thinking “wow, she’s into me.”

Compare and contrast that with the woman who asks you why you want the #, asks if she could have your # or just wants your business card (or many other variations that don’t include giving her # to you right away).

You see, in the dating relationship education course I teach called THE SYSTEM women actually have brains and know what they like when they see it like when guys do. The problem with many men is their ego cannot handle it when they like her and she doesn’t like them back, hence their need to pursue if they get any response that doesn’t include getting the # right away.

If she doesn’t give you the # as soon as you ask then use this word in your mind: “NEXT!”

Dating Single Women#2: Two Years Without A Broken Date

Remember me talking about marriage up top – and how some guys will get into marriage after a marathon pursuit? I prefer your marathon to be you dating her for 2 years with no bad signs from her. She doesn’t break dates, she gets more into you as you go along and she leaves you no doubt that she’s into you.

Listen, that’s going to be a recurring theme throughout this article – the lady that really wants you isn’t going to fire off the warning bells in your gut – you know that nagging feeling you get when you feel that something is off in your relationship?

You should know 100% that this girl is completely in your corner based on her actions towards you – there’s no ifs, ands or buts involved here – in fact many of my students marry their girlfriends ONLY AFTER THE GIRLS ASK THEM TO GET MARRIED.

Yes, no down on one knee nonsense for my guys – and no chance of rejection – their girlfriends are so gone on them that they asked to be their girlfriend and now they are asking to be their wife.

Contrast that with a girl that “isn’t sure if I can make it this weekend – I have friends coming to town.”

Ugh, NEXT!

Dating Single Women#3: She Pursues You – After A Bit

Don’t get me wrong – dudes should be the one being the aggressors initially – you have to walk up, meet her, get the #, arrange the date, etc. but after a time of going out with her and laying back (as I teach guys to do in THE SYSTEM) she should be WONDERING about you and wanting to spend more time than you seem willing to give (of course you’re willing to give her more time when she EARNS IT).

So, this girl that you had to walk up to and risk rejection is now inviting you over for a home cooked meal or has gotten concert tickets for the weekend and has cleared Friday, Saturday and Sunday just for you.

This is what women do when they really like you – they don’t mess around and play coy when they’re really gone on a guy. Sure, the ego might say “well, she’s playing hard to get when she told me that she might not be able to see me this weekend” but what she’s actually doing is keeping you as the 5th option in case 4 of her other sets of plans fall through!

The beautiful thing about what I teach guys is that you identify women that are really into you and then you allow them to be in chase mode so they get even more interested. Listen, the girl that won’t chase you is either structured or not interested – neither one is a good long-term candidate.

Remember guys – keep this phrase in mind – WOMEN HELP YOU WHEN THEY LIKE YOU.

WANT MORE HELP?  I’VE GOT IT FOR YOU – FREE!
If you want more dating advice that will coach you to navigate the sometimes treacherous waters of dating single women, then take an INSTANT 7-day FREE trial to my HYPER-POPULAR Doc Love Club.  When you take that7-day FREE Trial you’ll have access to over 90 hours of audio and more articles like this but for members only!

What do YOU think?  Don’t be shy – talk to me below.

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Dating Single Women – 3 Things To Look For

Last week I told you about 3 types of single women to avoid – this week let’s focus on the positive and look for some defining characteristics that you must have for a successful long-term relationship.

A word of caution – if you find a woman with this criteria then you need to be on your game as well because women like this need a guy that is equally as impressive as they are. Fortunately, you have my dating relationship education course called THE SYSTEM to guide you to be the gentleman they want!

Dating Single Women#1: Kindness

You want your mate to wish you well – and others too. I would describe kind women as “sweet” but not “syrupy” – they are enlightened and adult enough to interact with the world in a way where they are devoid of bitterness and anger – and their disposition makes it easy to be around. However, these ladies are not fools – if you burn them they will be done with you forever. Kindness does not equal weakness – in fact kind women are some of the strongest women on the planet because they don’t spit the world’s ills back at everyone they meet – they operate at a higher level because they can see past themselves to the needs of others.

Would you rather be with someone that is constantly challenging you at every turn because they like to do battle or would you like to be with someone that is serene and supports you? I know what I would like!

Dating Single Women#2: Giving Spirit

Again, she’s thinking of others – her kind and gentle nature extends to making sure that folks around her are happy by doing little (or sometimes big) things for them. There is just no doubt in your mind as you get to know her that she will step up and be generous with what she has – her time, money, etc. are merely tools she uses to show her love to those in her life.

Contrast her with the woman that figures the world – especially men she dates – owes her something. The taker freaks when she feels that you’re slighting her by not giving her what she perceives that she deserves. The giver thinks of how she can make things better for the people in her life while the taker has an angle and agenda with every encounter.

I don’t care if she’s a highly intelligent supermodel that’s a lot of fun to be around – if she’s a taker then she will wear you out over the long haul and erode your life – always look for a woman that’s a giver and make sure to give equally to her – she deserves it!

Dating Single Women#3: Flexibility

No one agrees 100% of the time and if you spend enough time with someone then divergent points of view will emerge – you’ll see things different ways. Relationships evolve from the “high” stage where hormones are popping to the “let’s figure out a way to live with each other the next 40 years” stage.

What sustains things once the hormones fade into the background? Flexibility from her – and you is the key. You will certainly have disagreements and each will want their own way from time to time – and that’s healthy – but what if you’re trapped with a woman that will never bend on anything? “You will go to my mother’s every Sunday because she expects it and I don’t care what you have going on” is what a structured/hard headed women will say to you. No debate, no exchange of ideas, no chance of changing her mind. Her world view of relationships is narrow with a list of things that you must do if you really care about her!

Contrast that with the flexible woman that can roll with things – she certainly wants what she wants from time to time (as we all do) but is willing to bend on things because she knows that the overall relationship is the most important thing as opposed to winning skirmishes over sometimes trivial stuff.

When two people can be flexible with each other and meet in the middle then it makes for a much better long-term situation!

WANT MORE HELP?  I’VE GOT IT FOR YOU – FREE!
If you want more dating advice that will coach you to navigate the sometimes treacherous waters of dating single women, then take an INSTANT 7-day FREE trial to my HYPER-POPULAR Doc Love Club.  When you take that7-day FREE Trial you’ll have access to over 90 hours of audio and more articles like this but for members only!

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Dating Single Women – 3 Types To Avoid

What’s that old proverb – a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step – or something to that effect. Well, a 40-year relationship can start with a single date. Will it be a relationship that is fun and enhances your life well into the regular Social Security payment years or will you feel as if you got locked in a prison cell with a crazy, vindictive guard?

I can tell you that taking any of the 3 types of women below seriously for a relationship is akin to driving drunk with your lights off towards a DUI checkpoint – you’re asking for trouble and will be going away for a long time!

Dating Single Women#1: The Easy Crier/Drama Queen

Listen, if her dog died or if her career blew up or some other serious thing happened to her, of course she’ll cry – but I’m speaking of the woman that has tears for every single little thing in her life. We had a caller on my Dating Women Radio Show a little while back that blubbered when he called her out for going running with a dude and not bothering to tell him! Really? She hides the fact that she’s going running with a guy because of course she knew her boyfriend would have an issue with it and then when busted the tears flowed like Niagara Falls!

In the dating relationship education course I teach called THE SYSTEM there’s a chapter in there called “Actress” that basically states that some women know how to manipulate guys via different methods – tears being one of them.

The “crier/drama queen” seems like a sensitive, sweet girl but she’s really a control freak trying to get her way via emotional control of you. Instead of having a real deal debate about issues she goes into waterworks mode ending any discussion other than the option that let’s her get her way.

Oh, there is one more possibility – she may not be a control freak – she might just have serious mental problems.

Either way, have fun for the next 40 years guy!

Dating Single Women#2: The Blogger Personality

She may not be a blogger per se but her whole life is lived on social media – her status updates are fast and furious about EVERYTHING and she just doesn’t have a few photos – she’s got THOUSANDS. Are you ready to have your life – especially your private life with her – put on blast for the whole world to see every single stinking minute?

It’s all cute when she’s putting up photos of you two kissing on date 5 with a nice little caption that says “back off girls, he’s mine” but on year 7 when she calls you out to 3,500 “loyal” followers for letting the dog walk in with poop on his paws, then the dew will be off the rose.

I know privacy is out the window in our ever increasing connected world and you know I’m not an out of touch technology guy – I myself have a blog, YouTube account, Twitter followers, a Facebook business account, email newsletter, a membership site and oh yes, my regular site, but that still doesn’t mean that DISCRETION can’t be followed for some things – like your deeply personal relationships.

You can’t easily keep your private life private anymore but you can do things to exacerbate the situation – like offering up EVERYTHING to EVERYONE when there are still some things that aren’t necessary for the world to know – like the intimate details of your relationship that should be between you and her – however it’s not going to be!

Dating Single Women#3: Superficial Friends

If she tells you she has a big group of “besties” then RUN. I’m not saying she’s not allowed to have friends – but if she counts this huge group of people as her “best friends” then look out (and sometimes dudes are in the mix too with that whole wolf’s in sheep clothing thing – pretending to be buds with a hidden agenda).

Just like with the “blogger woman” your relationship is going to be analyzed, dissected, approved, disapproved, re-approved, talked about, and then talked about some more with the group. If she states to you that “this group is SO IMPORTANT to me” then you have signed up to be a part of that group and have them sanction your relationship – which will not be just for you and her – but for every Tom, Dick, Harry, Sally, Jennifer and Megan that she hangs with.

Given a choice between 40 years with her and her group and one room in a remote cabin, then I’m off to the hardware store to see if they sell bear traps! Seriously, I don’t need to sign up for an instant social circle that I not only am now automatically obligated to hang with but has to approve of me for her – and basically that’s what she’s saying when she tells you early on that “my friends mean everything to me” – or some kind of variation.

The real girl you want to end up with has a few good friends and has no need to get ANYONE’S approval to be with you – and she’d rather get a root canal with no shot before spilling ANY part of her private life with you to ANYONE.

WANT MORE HELP?  I’VE GOT IT FOR YOU – FREE!
If you want more dating advice that will coach you to navigate the sometimes treacherous waters of dating single women, then take an INSTANT 7-day FREE trial to my HYPER-POPULAR Doc Love Club.  When you take that7-day FREE Trial you’ll have access to over 90 hours of audio and more articles like this but for members only!

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Dating Single Women – 3 Things You Don’t Know But Should

Dating in the 2010’s is more complex and complicated than ever – and single women have more options than ever – but I’m going to give you a mix of Smartphone technology with rotary phone common sense (remember those? if not, hit up Google!) to tell you 3 things that you need to know when approaching and trying to date these elusive ladies!

Dating Single Women#1: They Don’t ‘Need’ A Man But Many Still ‘Want’ A Man

Women are making more money than ever, are gaining more and more economic freedom and many are at the top levels of our society in terms of money, power and prestige. I’m all for this and have zero issue with career women or ladies that make it happen to keep the US Economy rolling. It’s not 1955 where she has little options beyond the secretarial pool and it totally dependent on finding a man – and again, this is a good thing.

However, economics meets biology and there are still a lot of ladies out there that want a REAL man to come home to – just as you want a kind, flexible and giving woman to come home to.

It’s easy to take those snippets of women that get the headlines looking for a sperm donor so they don’t have to end up with a guy but the reason they make the “what’s trending” part of your news feed is because I believe they’re the exception rather than the rule – there are still a lot of great women out there that are smart, motivated, kind, flexible, giving and yes, they want you – as long as you’re a strong gentleman that is strong enough to say no once in a while but secure enough to be sensitive too (at the right times).

Today’s lady wants a mixture of Cro-Magnon man that also has a softer, intelligent side – just like it’s been since the dawn of time!

Dating Single Women#2: You Don’t Have To Be Anything But Yourself – The Best Version Of Yourself

Today’s woman is more smart and motivated than ever so the lady you really want to end up with (the one I described above) is not going to fall for lines or BS. Oh sure, I’m not naive – I know there are the “players” out there that have the Handsome Harry looks and prowl the clubs looking for their next conquest but I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT ONE NIGHT STANDS HERE – I’m talking about building a real relationship (by the way, I’m not making a moral judgment on the one night stand guys – I’m just stating that the focus of what I teach is on long-term relationships).

If you’re really going to interest the woman that you should end up with then be yourself – don’t be a line machine – but also be the BEST version of yourself. If “yourself” is to not dress well, have bad teeth, not groom yourself, be uptight, or any other bad qualities, then you need to clean those up.

Before you get all over me saying that “I don’t want a superficial woman” then slow your roll right there – NEWS FLASH – were all superficial with our initial attraction.

She’ll never get to know the real you if she’s turned off by your 45 degree angled front tooth – just like you wouldn’t like her if you were attracted to athletic women and she happened to be morbidly obese – we like what we like and women are no different.

So, be you – don’t try to be the next guy – but be the best you that you can be and remember to always TALK to her intelligently and REALLY LISTEN. Dating single women in the 2010’s is a marathon and not a sprint – you want to get to know her over time because you might be spending 40 years with her tough guy!

Dating Single Women#3: She’s Got The New School Toys & The Old School Brain

She might have all the latest gadgets, can make your head spin about all sorts of stuff that she does in her career and have an outwardly impressive appearance (because who else would you be attracted to?) but the old laws of dating that have been around since Oog was trying to impress the future Mrs. Oog with his Mastadon kill still apply.

My dating and relationship course entitled THE SYSTEM gives you A TON OF STRATEGIES but just keep this in mind to start you on the road to success: Do not rush into rejection.

Women these days are more impressive than ever and many men think they have to over-sell, over-communicate and keep in her face – but back to prehistoric days she doesn’t want a guy that hasn’t had a date in 10 years – and that’s how you’ll come across if you’re trying to text, tweet, Snapchat and Facebook 43x in the first 3 dates. SLOW down and let her get to know you. If she’s really interested in you then she can’t be rejecting you as long as you let her come to you. Believe me when I tell you that she’ll let you know if she’s into you because women help you when they like you.

WANT MORE HELP?  I’VE GOT IT FOR YOU – FREE!

If you want more dating advice that will coach you to navigate the sometimes treacherous waters of dating single women, then take an INSTANT 7-day FREE trial to my HYPER-POPULAR Doc Love Club.  When you take that7-day FREE Trial you’ll have access to over 90 hours of audio and more articles like this but for members only!

What do YOU think?  Don’t be shy – talk to me below.

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