Three Dating Tips For Men Over 40 and 50

Portrait Of Young Woman Sitting On SofaIt seems like all the dating tips for men are geared to the younger dudes – what about dating tips for men over 40 or dating tips for men over 50?  The principles I’m about to give you are good for any age but your strategy has to be a bit different because your pool of available women without scars and baggage has decreased.

Let’s take for example when you were in your teens and 20’s – you likely knew a lot of single women that just wanted to have fun and it seemed like there was a lot of them around because if you’re like a typical guy there were.  Now that you’re dating in your 40’s and 50’s you are likely seeing the same faces at work, at the gym and during your favorite happy hour stops and the women you are seeing could be unavailable, bitter or have baggage – that’s not to say that every woman is like that but just like you have buddies that have joined the “he man woman haters club” due to a bad experience, there are women like that too.

The paragraph above basically says that your options shrink as you get older plus if you’re like most folks in today’s economy your time has shrunk too (but if you’re a successful guy who has retired in your 40’s or 50’s – bravo – you’ll have more time to implement the strategies below – and if you have limited time – well, the strategies are just for you).

As a guy dating over 40 or 50 you have to be very efficient in your search.  First of all if you’re not finding the right women for you right now then STOP doing what you’re doing.  Running into the same faces over and over again?  Then it’s time to change up your routine.

Dating Tips For Men Over 40 and 50Tip # 1:   Get online ASAP
At this point in the article you could call it “online dating tips for men” because I’m going to tell you to go online for maximum efficiency.  If you’re a guy over 40 or 50 you can remember a time when the personal ads were in a newspaper (younger guys reading this can’t fathom what a personal ad is and they’re rapidly having trouble with what a newspaper is).  Do you recall how you felt about guys you heard were using personal ads?  Yeah, I bet it wasn’t flattering.  TAKE ALL THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD because online dating is not the personal ads moved online – it’s a way for you to efficiently get through hundreds (depending on your city) eligible women in an afternoon.

One out of five relationships start online and the number is only growing.  You have Match.com, eHarmony, Date.com, Zoosk, an app for your smartphone called Tinder and so much more.  My #1 recommendation of a dating tip for men over 40 and 50 is to get online.

Call my dating women radio show  if you want advice from me on this – I take calls every Wednesday from 5:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. ET

Tip #2:  Speed dating
The other thing I suggest is speed dating – if you’re not sure what speed dating is just plug that into your favorite search engine.  You get anywhere from 3-8 minutes with a lady in your age range before you move onto the next one – if you both like each other then the organizer of the event (usually held in a nice bar/restaurant) will give each of you the contact information of the other and then it’s on you.

Dating Tips For Men Over 40 and 50Tip #3: Think like a great salesperson 
You see where I’m going with all of this?  Why do you think I suggest online dating and speed dating as my 2 best ways to meet women efficiently?  Because my dating tips for men are always sales-based.  You want as many QUALITY LEADS as you can get – like if you were selling cars.  You wouldn’t want to get in front of a bunch of people that have just signed an auto lease or those that had terrible credit, right?  You want to be in front of as many people as you can that have the means to buy now and are ready to buy now.

When you do online dating and speed dating at least you know the women there are “ready to buy” – like you they’re online or at the speed dating event because they’re looking for a relationship (or at least some of them are).

Of course all the leads in the world won’t matter if you blow them – finding where to meet women open to a relationship is one thing but making sure you go out with them and then figuring out which ones are right for you is another.

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DATING WOMEN ADVICE FOR GUYS: WOULD A BABE BUMP DAVE FRANCO BECAUSE SHE HAD TO WRITE A PAPER?

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Hey Doc, 

I read and really liked your column about whether or not men should tolerate broken dates. I was stood up for my second date with Brianna and the situation is very confusing to me.

I went on a date with Brianna on a Thursday night. I thought we had a great time. We had good chemistry and when I drove her home, she held my hand and we shared goodnight kisses.

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She mentioned that she would come and visit me at work with some of her girlfriends on Friday night (I work at a night club). On Friday afternoon Brianna phoned me and told me she could not visit me because her friends backed out and she was still exhausted from our Thursday date. Nevertheless, we had a brief, playful conversation about our first date. I suggested a second date on Monday, but she told me she had school the next morning. But I told her we could do something fun and she agreed and we ended the conversation there.

On Sunday night I texted Brianna to see what time was good for her on Monday, but didn’t get a response. On Monday I wasn’t sure if we had a date or not, so I sent her a playful text to check with her. She responded, “I don’t think I can make it tonight. I have a paper to finish for school tomorrow!” I didn’t respond to her. 

Doc, I don’t know if Brianna stood me up because she has low Interest Level in me or she actually had a legit reason to cancel our date. She didn’t offer to reschedule our date though. I don’t mind moving on, but at the same time I don’t want to make a mistake by overanalyzing the situation since we had such a great first date. Any thoughts? 

Shimon – who’s scratching his head 

If you don’t have THE SYSTEM then you should have it.  It is available in every format you could want…it’s all the same material – you have the choice of a book, electronic book or audio book:

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Hi Shimon, 

First of all, you shouldn’t be kissing a girl on the very first date. It’s way too fast to be going in for a kiss when you don’t even know the girl. 

Now, why would you want Brianna to come and visit you at work with a gang of her friends? That’s called a GROUP DATE, guy, and according to my rules, it’s a no-no. But you don’t know that because you don’t have my book and you don’t listen to the Doc Love Club Radio Show. If Brianna were your girlfriend, then she could bring her friends over to visit you. But she’s not your girlfriend. So like most men, you’re RUSHING INTO REJECTION. 

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So, Brianna’s excuse for not showing up at the nightclub was because her friends backed out. Let me ask you this, pal – couldn’t she come on her own and drink a couple of cups of coffee? But her excuse was that she was still exhausted from the other night. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Hey, I’ll bet that if she was going to meet Brad Pitt, she’d get her energy level up!” 

Why did you suggest a second date for Monday? After Brianna begged off seeing you at the nightclub, you should have waited a week to call her for another date. Again, you were rushing. What’s the big hurry, Shimon? And you’re rushing because you don’t know what you’re doing because you don’t have my book to guide you. The strategy of dating is fully explained in “The System,” my friend. Without my book you have no strategy, and without a strategy, you’ll never succeed at anything. 

You say you had a second date with Brianna on Monday, but you didn’t set the time and place when you were going to pick her up. So what you really had was a “definite maybe” date. Again, this situation is fully detailed in my book, and since you don’t have it, you’re at a huge disadvantage when dealing with Brianna – or any girl, for that matter. 

Nevertheless, you texted Brianna to bug her about this alleged Monday date. Another mistake. After you set a date, you don’t talk to the girl about it. You talk to her on the date – that’s what it’s for. But since you never set a time and a place, you had no clue what you were doing. You might have liked my column about broken dates, but in order to go into depth on these subjects, you have to have my book. “The System” explains to you what’s really going on with girls, Shimon. 

Since you didn’t know whether or not you had a date with Brianna for Monday, you sent her a text. In other words, you were begging and you didn’t even know it. And like my cousin General Love says, “Your position is horrible.” 

When Brianna told you that she’d rather work on a paper than be with you, you were OUT. Finished. This girl has ZERO Interest Level in you, dude. Think about it: in spite of kissing her on the first date, you never got to the second date. Like you, most guys would think that since she kissed you on the first date that she would take the second date – WRONG! 

There is NEVER a legit reason to cancel a date. When Brianna didn’t offer to reschedule your date, it’s because she’s not interested in you. To you Psych majors, when women like you, they HELP you. 

Shimon, the problem here is that you did have a great first date with Brianna and that raised your hopes and created an illusion. But until you get to eight or 10 dates with a girl and she’s your girlfriend, you can’t believe in anything that she says or does. 

My thoughts? Easy — because you didn’t have my book, you didn’t get a second date.  

Remember, guys: ask yourself, how many dates have you ever broken?

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DATING WOMEN RADIO SHOW – NEVER HIT WOMEN

Call in WEEKLY to the Dating Women Radio Show - get the numbers and information from here.

Your  free weekly excerpt from the Dating Women Radio Show is below – this week we have Doc’s take on abusive men

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DATING WOMEN ADVICE FOR GUYS: You Changed My Life

Guys,

From time to time I like to publish a good “you changed my life” letter and we will cover this on tonight’s (1/16/14) www.datingwomenradioshow.com so tune in at 4:00 p.m. PT/7:00 p.m. ET

In his own words….

Hi Doc, 

I started reading your articles back in 2006, but I was young and stupid and did not buy your book until 2011.  After years of failed relationships, heartbreak, wasted time, money, and emotion, I put my ego aside and realized that I needed real help. 

Your book and radio shows changed my life. 

I’m a fairly good looking guy.  I’m confident, have a good job, am a gentleman, and a have a golden retriever.  But I went through life dating whoever I found attractive and happened to like me back without much thought to anything else.  You showed me how I could raise my standards and what qualities I needed to find to make a lasting happy relationship.  

I had confidence down, but you taught me the importance of (self) CONTROL and CHALLENGE

Thanks to The System, I found the love of my life.  We met at the young adult group at my church.  Prior to learning your System, instead of asking for her number, I would have hung out around her for a few months hoping to get a hint whether or not she liked me first before maybe asking her to “hang out.”  Instead, I confidently asked for her number, waited 7 days, asked her out, and won her over with charm and confidence in person on the date.  

Also, before learning The System, I would have texted her in between dates.  My (now) wife says that it drove her nuts in between dates that I didn’t text her, but at the same time, she loved it.  She says not texting told her that I was secure in my self and that I had a life of my own.  Also, it added MYSTERY.  Let me be clear, I am NOT a naturally mysterious man.  But this simple bit of self-control made me seem like a mysterious man, which upped her Interest Level

Also, she was ready to say the “L” word after about 4 months of dating, but I didn’t give in.  I saved it for the day I proposed.  She says that because I waited to say it at such an important time and made her wait, that made her respect me even more. 

Additionally, I never pushed the physical boundaries of the relationship.  We discussed our boundaries early and established that sex is for marriage.  The fact that I didn’t just say it and had the self-CONTROL to do it, made her respect and love me even more. 

Also, she thinks my corny jokes are hilarious. (They aren’t that funny, but she thinks they are.)  Humor, as you say, is absolutely the GLUE of our relationship. 

On top of all of this, she is a flexible giver.  Every morning she wakes up and makes my morning cappuccino and breakfast while I get dressed for work even though she doesn’t have to get up for another 2 hours.  She lets me lead and actively wants to learn more about the things I am interested in, even if it’s something she never had previous interest in, like football and baseball. 

Not to mention, she is absolutely drop dead gorgeous.  If we have daughters, I am going to have to keep an eye on them and train them to only date “System” guys. 

Coming from a family with a strong history of divorce, I am confident in saying that I will be the one who breaks the chain.  I am confident in this because of two things:  my faith and the “System.” 

I may have been able to find her, but I never would have been able to KEEP her without you, Jeff, and the “System.” 

Once again, THANK YOU. 

Spartan,
Blake

Austin, TX

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