So you’ve decided to delve into the world of speed dating, eh? I should explain what it is and then we’ll get into 3 great tips to make it a successful experience for you.
If you live in a bigger, urban area (usually tough to get it going in smaller towns) you should find a number of events – just search for “speed dating events in <fill in your area> – then you should see the ones that match your age range and are within your geographic location.
The basics of it are there are usually 15-30 men and women in a restaurant/bar. The women sit in the tables in pretty much a circle around the venue and then the guys have 3-8 minutes to talk to the ladies before some kind of sounder goes off and they have to move (usually clockwise) to the next table/lady. It kind of reminds you of organized musical chairs with the added pressure of trying to attract strangers – bonus!
All kidding aside, I like it a lot because you know that since there’s usually a fee (nominal – like $30-$50) the women there are serious about meeting someone – or at least certainly more well-qualified as potential dates than random women you might meet at a bar on a given night.
You all usually get name tags with your first name and a number – so Doc 43 might meet Caprice 34. At the end of the night if I liked Caprice 34 I’ll write it down on my sheet and turn it into the organizer of the event. If Caprice 34 did the same then they’ll email (typically email) each other’s contact information and then you’re off and running – you have made a potential connection.
Now that you have the basics, let’s get into my 3 tips for speed dating success.
Unless you’re super familiar with the venue don’t leave anything to chance – either arrive early or make it a point to go before the event. Why? It’s going to be nerve-wracking enough to meet 15-30 strangers – you don’t want to add being clueless about the place you’re at to the mix. You want to throw off an air of confidence and being comfortable in your surroundings can really help. Also, during your 3-8 minutes with her, how cool would it be to point out something unique about the place? Yeah – you’ll set yourself apart!
It would be great if you could check out a speed dating event BEFORE yours – if you don’t have time for this because your event is coming up too quickly, I understand, but seeing how other guys dress would be very helpful – and then you make sure to dress a notch above them. At the very least dress up that night – nice shirt, nice slacks – look like the type of guy that she’d want to meet and stand out from the other dudes competing with you that night.
Remember, with 3-8 minutes you won’t have much time to showcase your personality – you have to hit hard on the physical attraction so look as SHARP as possible and make sure you stand out from the other guys – or at least match the other dudes in their GQ posture.
Now, just because you don’t have much time to talk to her be bright, lively and funny – take control of the conversation by asking her something about what she does or what she’d do if she won the lottery and REALLY LISTEN TO HER. Most guys will be so nervous that they’ll be blurting anything out trying to get her to write their name down – basically they’ll keep throwing things against the wall and hope they stick.
Not you – you’re going to look good, you’re going to smile and you’re going to ask her an intelligent question or two and really listen to her – remember that you need to show her in 3-8 minutes how nice it would be to be out with you.
Oh, and it goes without saying not to get sloppy drunk – a few cocktails are okay to loosen up but if you’re slurring with your tie at half-mast by girl 22 then you probably aren’t inspiring her to write your name down.
Normally in the dating relationship education course I teach (called THE SYSTEM) I tell guys to wait 5-9 days to call so you build CHALLENGE but in this case you want to wait not more than 2 days to reach out to her after getting her contact information (the women you do succeed with that is) because you’re still a stranger to her and you only got 3-8 minutes in. It’s important to set up a date with her as soon as you can (without being desperate). The important thing is to turn the “speed date” into a “real date.”
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